is the exercise for today.
'Just let go' doesn't really solve the main problem. We may be able to tell ourselves, over and over again, that those bad things happened in the past and we have to move on, leave the past behind, not look back etc. However, in reality, this does not make the feelings of insecurity, worthlessness, lack of self-respect and other negative taking-away-from-ourselves feelings associated with the sad/bad past incidents in the past, go away. These just have a way of hanging on to our souls and surfacing when we least want them to.
More and more as I find myself being forced to look at the past, I realize that this is the best way, actually. It's horribly, horribly, painfully hard to do....but it really is the only way. Take out each thing and look at it with all the honesty that you can muster up and are capable of. And then deal with it.....one has made serious errors of judgment, read situations wrong and hence reacted in a way that actually turned back on us further complicating things, taken wrong decisions thinking this would be the best way forward, had mistaken notions of friendship, made a million...zillion mistakes.
Caution: Never palm the blame on to anyone, or any situation, or any set of circumstances. Maybe we had a choice, maybe we didn't.....either way......we just fell off the grid. And another word of caution - remember, these incidents do not define us. It happened to us, and we reacted, and we suffered, but they were actions and reactions...they do not define us.
We are more than all of these.......And so, what we have to know is that it's okay.....it may have seemed the end of the world, but it wasn't...and it isn't anymore. Bruised and black and blue and yellow and purple we may be, but we are still here.....we have survived and this itself is cause for cheer....not only have we survived, but we have learnt some invaluable lessons about ourselves........so, maybe we have to change course, maybe we have to set new goals, maybe we have to become 'real'...whichever way we look at this, it is a win for us.....many, many cheers for us!!!
I am trying this and I'd like to share the experience with anyone who is going through the same thing.....