have we heard this being nastily told to someone, especially someone who cannot answer back-----"I'm only saying this for your improvement....for your good."
Are you perfect? Have you never committed this 'crime/misdemeanour/error/mistake/'terrible' thing?
23 April 2015
03 April 2015
The other day...
Some of us colleagues were talking on how short we are on one very important thing - listening.
The conversation moved on to how many kids could be drawn back from getting into wrong habits or doing wrong things if only someone would listen to their conversations - one would then be able to detect undertones which are really cries for help.
Even with each other, how often we just don't keep quiet and listen - we're in such a hurry to give our point of view, or solve their problem (which they haven't even asked us to help with), or just to show we are know-it-alls and have all the answers. Why can't we just keep quiet? For all you know - and it often is so - while the person is talking, and we are giving them our ear - QUIETLY - they figure out their own solutions. All they needed was the reassurance of our presence - that's all.
In my meditation, that evening, I came across this wonderful quote:
Our listening creates a sanctuary for the homeless parts within another person.
~ Rachel Naomi Remen
So true - and so what we don't do...
The conversation moved on to how many kids could be drawn back from getting into wrong habits or doing wrong things if only someone would listen to their conversations - one would then be able to detect undertones which are really cries for help.
Even with each other, how often we just don't keep quiet and listen - we're in such a hurry to give our point of view, or solve their problem (which they haven't even asked us to help with), or just to show we are know-it-alls and have all the answers. Why can't we just keep quiet? For all you know - and it often is so - while the person is talking, and we are giving them our ear - QUIETLY - they figure out their own solutions. All they needed was the reassurance of our presence - that's all.
In my meditation, that evening, I came across this wonderful quote:
Our listening creates a sanctuary for the homeless parts within another person.
~ Rachel Naomi Remen
So true - and so what we don't do...
I've talked about identity before...
Came across another very do-able and understand-able take on identity.
This is from the Brain Pickings Weekly newsletter. It features Margaret Mead and James Baldwin on Identity, Race, the Immigrant Experience, and Why the "Melting Pot" Is a Problematic Metaphor.
Identity is something we claim for ourselves, then must assert willfully to the world:
You've got to tell the world how to treat you. If the world tells you how you are going to be treated, you are in trouble.
You see, I think we have to get rid of people being proud of their ancestors, because after all they didn't do a thing about it. What right have I to be proud of my grandfather?
I can be proud of my child if I didn't ruin her, but nobody has any right to be proud of his ancestors.
And so draw their sense of identity from them (our ancestors)...
Creating our identity is something we have to do ourselves, for ourselves.
This is from the Brain Pickings Weekly newsletter. It features Margaret Mead and James Baldwin on Identity, Race, the Immigrant Experience, and Why the "Melting Pot" Is a Problematic Metaphor.
Identity is something we claim for ourselves, then must assert willfully to the world:
You've got to tell the world how to treat you. If the world tells you how you are going to be treated, you are in trouble.
You see, I think we have to get rid of people being proud of their ancestors, because after all they didn't do a thing about it. What right have I to be proud of my grandfather?
I can be proud of my child if I didn't ruin her, but nobody has any right to be proud of his ancestors.
And so draw their sense of identity from them (our ancestors)...
Creating our identity is something we have to do ourselves, for ourselves.
There are many kinds of silences...
One is total silence when the body, mind and soul are at one - are at peace - and are quiet. There are no thoughts scurrying across, no memos niggling at the back of the mind and nothing poking or needling the soul. All are still creating a sense of complete and restful calm.
There is another silence when words hang in the air like drops of water waiting to condense on the nearest surface regardless of time and place and who's around.
And there is another silence which is sheer hostility - where the words though unspoken, ping on your vulnerabilities and send out barbs of deep hurt, never mind who is around...
There is another silence when words hang in the air like drops of water waiting to condense on the nearest surface regardless of time and place and who's around.
And there is another silence which is sheer hostility - where the words though unspoken, ping on your vulnerabilities and send out barbs of deep hurt, never mind who is around...
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