04 December 2014

It's just in the moment...

The word 'moment' is the important word here. Moment may signify a short time, or a longish time...just think of it as a moment.

So often we find ourselves in difficult, traumatic moments. Moments that we wish would pass but which tend to take their time about passing, leaving us deeper and deeper in the darkness.

I've been trying to find out about how to go about these moments.

The single thing needed, which we all have latent in us, and which now has to be called upon, is GRIT. One needs grit to get through moments/times that are disruptive, and that cause anxiety and despair.

So, now:

FIRST - WE HAVE TO ACCEPT WHAT IS HAPPENING. This is a very difficult thing to do, but it has to be done. Remember there is no shame in this. It's happening, whether we like it or not, and it is best that we accept it: I am in distress right now; I am deeply unhappy with what is happening; I am stressed out right now about_____;

SECOND -  These are in three important steps:
First important step - WE DO NOT RESIST IT OR TRY TO PUSH IT AWAY.

Second important step - WE DO NOT THINK: THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT SHOULD BE or THIS IS NOW HOW IT SHOULD BE or THIS IS NOT WHAT I BARGAINED FOR or THIS IS NOT WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE or THIS IS NOT WHAT I IMAGINED IT WOULD BE, and other thoughts like these.

Third important step - based on the second one, WE TRY TO FIX IT or WE TRY TO FORCEFULLY TRY TO TURN THE COURSE OF EVENTS AS THEY UNFOLD or WE TRY TO THINK OF WAYS AND MEANS OF SOLVING THE ISSUE or WE TRY TO FIGURE OUT THE BEST WAY OUT or WE TRY AND JUST PUSH THE ISSUE OUT or WE TRY TO REASON AND RATIONALIZE OUR WAY OUT. Sometimes WE EVEN RETALIATE, HOPING THAT THE UNPLEASANTNESS WILL END.

Believe me, I have tried all these. None of them work.

The only thing that works is GRIT - THE GRIT TO STAND IT THROUGH ITS COURSE - FORCE YOURSELF TO LET THE DARKNESS/UNHAPPINESS/ANXIETY/STRUGGLE/DESPAIR-CAUSING EVENT/HAPPENING/SITUATION RUN ITS COURSE - RUN ITSELF OUT.
Say a prayer, a psalm, a mantra - anything but just stay put and stay quiet till that time is over. If you can breathe in and out consciously, then this also helps - breathe in deeply taking in as much air as you can and when breathing out, consciously release the tension that has built itself and is building itself up inside. By just hanging in there quietly or watching your breathing, you can create a space inside your heart. And in this space is the calm we need.

Believe me this is the only thing that works. It's working for me and I want to share it with you...