We often read/hear about...

people who bravely step out of what is pleasant, enjoyable and familiar, and go into the great unknown. We draw inspiration from these people....from their sense of adventure and daring.

But,

what of those who every single day of their lives step into what is challenging to their well-being...

those who live with mentally/emotionally/psychologically challenged members of a family, and wake up never knowing what the day is going to bring...

those who live in hurtful/hurting situations, or harrowing and distressful circumstances...

those who live in unending pain and suffering...

those who have no other option, or cannot find a solution or answers to difficult and

What of their, fortitude, courage and bravery?

Remembering...

Nirbhaya

You have not died in vain... 

                                                                     You will always live in our hearts.....

We love you

Seriously...

how frank must one be?

I believe that frankness can never be justified if it hurts the person you are being frank with. Yes, if something needs to be said, there are ways of saying it to take away the sting which is hidden in frankness.

I think the only time 'brutal frankness' can be justified is if there is a positive, warm, loving, fair, just relationship with the person/persons you are being brutally frank with.

There is really no need to blather out everything that comes to your mind, and expect that people around you will see it in the light of the context, or understand that this is your nature, or not take what you are saying to heart, or be forgiving.

There is also a fair chance that your frankness will backfire causing terrible misunderstanding and irreparable damage...

Filter what you have to say through the sieve of tolerance, patience, caring and love....always thinking of the feelings of the other person.

Identity...

is something I've been thinking about these past few days.

The need for identity is something very basic, but often it does not surface till one has gone on in years...in my case, 60 years...or when the kids have left home, and you grow into the realization that you are left with yourself and you have all the time in the world now for yourself...

You really....now....can be yourself....can be who you want to be......can be what you want to be.....

Your identity is always tacked on to someone's - first the family into which you are born, then your own family...you are referred to as being from some family (your heritage), someone's daughter, someone's wife, someone's mother.......

So who, indeed are you......?

You are certainly a mix of all of these, and if you can weed out the bad, keep the good and add on the qualities you admire, you are well on your way to creating your own very special, unique identity...

The catch......................this is an ongoing process and you have to keep working on it, and you have to hang on to it no matter what.....

Thinking about attitude...

We read that if we can't change a situation we need to change our attitude - it helps us to deal with the situation in a manner that won't leave us drained or wrecked.

I don't know why, but for some reason I thought that this meant I had to forcibly remove or wrench out parts of me, as it were, do a kind of brain-heart-soul-body amputation.

But, change does not mean only pulling out. It also means adding in.

Think on this: When someone does something which results in a meltdown, what do we do? We hug and comfort that person, tell them to give themselves a break, try our best to make it good for that person, till the feeling passes, and the person can then with a clear, unclouded mind think about change. But when it comes to ourselves, we chastise ourselves, are often ruthless with our thinking...in short, we are martinets with ourselves. Why not feed our soul with all the good things that are there in us, pamper ourselves, compliment ourselves, and give ourselves a treat, till our minds clear up, and the tweaking/readjusting/changing of attitude happens.

After all if we are our best friends, surely we need to offer ourselves a break too, wouldn't you say?

Are we having a 'Storming the Bastille' moment?

The massive response to the Aam Aadmi Party, which won 28 of the 70 seats in the Delhi Assembly elections, shows that we are having our 'Storming the Bastille' moment in our own unique Indian way. The anti-corruption Aam Aadmi Party, now a State Party, is the symbol of the uprising of a modern nation. The party has a broom as its election symbol reinforcing its ideology that this is a party that has the plight of the common man--the aam aadmi--at its heart. India is still very much a feudal country, and the feudality is on many levels - caste, creed, economic status, and on and on. Though equality and justice form part of the constitution of India, life in reality is far - very, very far removed from this. This party has formed its platform on the fact that the common people of India are unseen and unheard. The politicians in Delhi move in their own elite orbit periodically descending to mingle with the people whose reality lies in dust, heat, and primitive conditions of living. 'This is my fate', this is my karma', is how the common man passes off his condition. That he has the right to a dignified life is almost an impossible dream. How can he, the aam aadmi, bowed down by his fate and his karma and his inherited station in life even think of aspiring to reach for the pole star? He has been bludgeoned into thinking that he as the aam aadmi has no rights, no nothing. It is not in the psyche of the masses to have a 1789-style revolution, but the winning of the Aam Aadmi Party is our brand of revolution. Now we have a channel to ask for accountability and good governance. Could it be that this is the beginning of the end of feudalism for us? Are we at last to have a chance at Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité?

I love this...

as I do tend to look at life through rose-tinted glasses. Of course many times they end up in disaster, nevertheless, the rose-tinted glasses stay on...

But, there are people who think that being serious all the time gives them gravitas, and that not being serious is frivolity, for, living life is serious business and how can you take it so lightly...

'Twould be good to remind ourselves that there is a time to be serious.

Check this out from Dr. Seuss:

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.

And thereby making life's realities, no matter how harsh or how dreadful, manageable and cope-able rather than drowning and getting weighted down to the point of paralysis in seriousness about them...

Comfort and joy...

I came across this sentence in Colleen McCullough's The Independence of Miss Mary Bennet:

Comfort should be ever-present, and joys merely an occasional treat.

This caught me.

Comfort is not synonymous with luxury or having lots of things.

Comfort is that which gives you a feeling of contentment. It is a warm, toasty, cozy feeling that pervades your being.

Of course you must...

always like what you do.

However, sometimes there is a call of duty.

Liking what you do involves you yourself - choices you make, but duty is what others impose on you. Duty may not always be enjoyable, though there are some duties that are pleasant. The pleasant duties you can learn to like. The catch is with the duties that are painful and hateful....Do these with grace and they become bearable and do-able...

There's nothing wrong...

in out best-intentioned decisions going awry.

What is wrong is -

hanging on to it because it was YOU who made that decision, and how can something you think of go so wrong...........................but you are but human

or,

setting too much store by what people may say..................but people talk anyway

or,

not cutting loose when the losses are still manageable, just in case the dice rolls to a six..........but if not this one, there are other chances, because you may have played your cards wrong

Whichever way you look at it, the point is - Learn to read the signs.....for there are always signs, some in neon lighting, and some in black and white....you just have to look and see them.

Sharing a thought...

that I read during my meditation...

When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

~Unknown

....and bad things do happen, every now and then...

It does not matter...

if you are occupying what seems to you the teeniest, weeniest, most insignificant, most unimportant place in the Universe. There is one Person to whom your presence, what you say, think, feel, and do, and how you live is of vital importance, for you represent a color in His Grand Design.

Keep reminding yourself...

I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul...

~ From William Ernest Henley's Invictus

and from the beautiful hymn written by George Matheson - Oh Love that wilt not let me go:

I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be.

Wait for...

the solution to a particularly tangled web - a web that is painful, hurtful...

It will come. Don't panic, the solution will come but in a quiet inconspicuous way. You have to force your raging, anguished heart to quieten down and be still. And the solution that comes will be a wonderful one...one that couldn't be better...